Everyone can have a hard time with rejection in their life, let’s be honest- Big or small, it affects us all. Rejection hurts but it’s normal and can not be avoided completely. It’s important to know how to cope with rejection. First, “We should assume that everyone is going to experience rejection on a semi-regular basis throughout their life,” DeWall says. A life with everyone being nice to you isn’t possible. When you are rejected or excluded, he says, the best way to deal with it is to seek out other sources of friendship, support or acceptance. “A lot of times, people keep these things to themselves because they’re embarrassed or they don’t think of it as a big deal,” he says. But our bodies respond to rejection like they do to physical pain; the pain should be taken seriously because that feeling matters, and it’s fine to seek out help of our loved ones. “When people feel lonely, or when people feel excluded or rejected, these are only things they can talk about,” he says.
As being on the receiving side of the social snub causes cascade of emotions and consequences like anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness. Rejection of any kind induces mixed feelings. In the field of mental health care, rejection most frequently refers to the feeling of shame or grief people feel when they are not accepted by others.
A person might feel rejected after a significant other ends a relationship. A child who has few or no friends may feel rejected by peers. It’s necessary to know about coping up with rejection.
There are few things which every individual should do while facing the feeling of rejection;
- KNOW YOUR WORTH
It’s sounds like a pep talk but it does help.
Building up self-confidence and self-worth can induce the feeling of love for self and help you remember that you’re worthy of happiness and love.
-Try writing three things where you were proud of yourself.
-Write about any achievement which makes you feel happy.
-List five ways you practise your personal values.
-Pamper yourself, remember times when you were told about how you’re great at certain things.
- REMEMBER THAT IT HAPPENS WITH EVERYONE.
Accepting that rejection is a universal experience and reminding yourself that it’s just a normal part of life; something which everyone will go through in their lives at least once might help you fear it less.
The person which has rejected you would have come across the same feeling sometime in their lives too, be it your boss rejecting you or your peer groups excluding you might have come across this experience as well.
The faster you accept, the better you cope.
- SEARCH FOR LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES.
Rejection can lead to self- discovery and growth; it shows you ways for bettering yourselves. Reframing your fear as a chance of growth and productivity makes it easier to try for what you want and lessens the pain of what you lost.
You might have lost a great opportunity which you were focusing for years but then you make this loss as a way to brush your skills and where you lacked. Later, you’d realise that this made you open doors for better opportunities and also, developed you into your better self.
- FACE YOUR FEARS
If you don’t throw yourself out there, you won’t face rejection, sure, but you will also limit your chances for achieving something significant. Jones recommends creating a “fear hierarchy,” or a list of steps associated with your fear of rejection, and working through them one at a time. This is part of exposure therapy.
Systematic desensitization would help, role playing about scenarios where you are taught that rejection isn’t the end of world through your loved ones can help an individual desensitize towards the fear.
- STOP NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Once you encounter rejection it’s easy to be trapped into the cycle of self-criticism and negative thoughts. You might say things like, “I wasn’t enough”, “Maybe there is something wrong with me”, “I can never be enough for anyone”, “I think I should quit trying”, but again all this does is reinforces that rejection was your fault and it causes a destruction of one’s self image in their conscious.
When you encourage and push yourself, there are more chances of you believing in your own potential and therefore, help you achieve your goals.
Self-compassion would help where things go wrong, telling what you’d tell your loved one in the same situation.
At last, Rejection can make you doubt yourself. But fearing it may only limit you, preventing you from experiencing much of what life has to offer you. Things might seem wrong for a period of time but introspecting and choosing to look at rejection as an opportunity for growth instead of something you can’t change can help you feel less afraid of the possibility.